An agency by any other name

[lovingboth]

I met an escort recently who was working for an agency that, in general, was treating her very well. What made us both laugh was its.. 'upfront' name.

It made me think:

[Poll #282784]

[names invented]

Comments

[lozette.livejournal.com]

Hmm, that's made me think. When considering buying sex in the past (haven't yet) I've always just looked at the glossy ads in the back of magazines etc - so therefore the more "elegant" agencies. I've never stopped to think about how much of a cut the guys might be getting or how well they might be treated. It almost sounds "wrong" to want to be an 'ethical buyer of sex", but of course it makes sense. How would one go about making sure the agency they buy from *is* ethical? (Other than asking the guy once he's there).

[lovingboth]

Male escorts, on the whole, get a much worse deal than female ones. They get paid less, agencies take a higher cut etc etc.

Some 'agency' sites are basically advertising only: the escorts pay to advertise, but get to keep all the money they earn.

Otherwise, there are loads of independent gay & bi male escorts in London at the moment - see Boyz or QX (both have PDFs of their escort section online). Not all of them will be interested in female clients, but others would be delighted to have some / more.

[lozette.livejournal.com]

Cool - thanks for the info! I will bear it in mind for the day I actually locate my cojones and go for it :-)

[devotedtopast.livejournal.com]

But "horny bitches" was by far the coolest name, and I'd boycott anything that took more of their workers money than they needed to...

[uran.livejournal.com]

..Needed to? What's this need business?
They take as much as they can because that's their job. To live off other people's earnings while they answer the phones.

[pavlos.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm sure answering the phones and placing ads is a legitimate kind of work, plus it's a first line of contact with idiots. However it's the smaller part of the work.

The problem is if these people who do the smaller part of the real work actually own the business. And it's difficult for them not to if they are the "permanent" side with a public name, phone number, etc. while the sex workers are less visible and some of them come and go. A cooperative scheme might work to counter that, but I don't imagine it's any easier than in any other kind of artisan business.

Sorry if I'm ranting, but a lot of the problems mentioned in the context of sex work seem to me problems with capitalism. Sex work looks naturally like an artisan business, best run as a partnership. If instead you apply an owner/employee relationship, bad things seem to happen.

[purplerabbits.livejournal.com]

It may seem hypocritical but I prefer to work as an elegant companion because the only kind of escort work I can imagine doing is where sex is strictly optional.

[lovingboth]

It's quite possible to make a career out of not having intercourse or oral sex with clients:

www.tinysecret.co.uk

[yonmei.livejournal.com]

You wouldn't get paid, then, because most agencies work by taking the fee the client pays them themselves, and you (the escort) get paid by the client to have sex. It's up to you to negotiate your fee.

[lovingboth]

Hmm, that's more common in parlours/brothels: lots of agencies don't work like that.

So the one in question aims to have the driver turn up with the escort - he goes away with the agency's cut and she gets her cut there and then. If that's not possible, she hands their money over later.

Thinking about it, it'd be difficult legally for the agency if the escort didn't get a chunk of the advertised fee.

[uran.livejournal.com]

The kind of clientele that would be ringing Horny Bitches is not the kind of person I want in my house, thanks very much. I've been having dramas lately trying to find enough clients to live that don't just turn up to fuck the crap out of anything that breathes, who share their time rather than just taking mine off me like I'm a product and not a person.
Somehow, GFE got mixed up with sex machines. Starting to distrust men in general.

[conflux.livejournal.com]

Two of my female friends have also tried working in the sex industry. So many of the men who pay women for sex do seem to think that allows them to treat the women badly. You could say this is the product of a sexually repressed society but I think it is the product of them being nasty pieces of slime. This has caused both of my friends to have issues with men in general, because although all men may not be slime when they are the majority of the ones you meet it has an effect. They have both now quit and I really don't blame them. Personally after hearing their stories I'm beginning to think a large pit to dump these misogynistic men in is the best solution. I'm normally a lot more easy going.

All of my male friends make a point of treating people ethically but then they are mostly bi and/or poly. Sometimes I'm very glad I don't mix much with the average macho hetro man given what I've heard and seen.

[lovingboth]

In part, I think it depends on how much choice you think you have in doing the work. If you can say 'fuck off' to a client, including after they've paid, because they've done something objectionable (I go yay every time I hear about this - paying money doesn't excuse you being slime) then you're more likely to be happy about doing it. There are good clients as well as bad ones.

Some of the bi and/or poly men you know have treated others staggeringly badly too you know.

[uran.livejournal.com]

Or the inadequate men who feel bigger than they are and like to try to assert that. Losers, all losers.
'Would you ever date a client?'
Hell no, I date real people.

[pavlos.livejournal.com]

Well, I do buy sex on occasion, but I treat it more like "strictly-for-sex" dating than like a consumer service. In other words paying some money is a good way to meet a stranger who's in fact usually happy to have some form of sex, touch, smell, talk, exchange back rubs, etc. It's a way to give as well as receive affection, and so long as we manage to see each other as real people, I come away with a positive experience and at least it seems to me that nobody should feel used or inferior.

I find this more honest than feigning interest in drunken strangers in the pub for the sole reason of sleeping with them, which seems to be the social norm. Of course it helps that I'm a young and OK looking guy, and I have enough genuine intimate relationships with people. If I were old and lonely and thought that nobody would desire me in general, then I don't think I'd be so cool about buying sex, or that I'd do it.

The sort of approach to sex work that I object to is where the men treat it like a visit to the restaurant: An entirely passive affair where they do nothing and someone else has to make them horny, make them come, or whatever, while they guard their emotions or bond with each other against the women. It's even worse if each kind of sex act (rather than time) has a price. It seems pathetic and disrespectful. If I were a male sex worker and had to serve women customers who behaved like that I would feel both hostile and drained.

Unfortunately, this type of sex "product" seems to be getting more common. Form the words of older people (in a mediterranean culture) at least some men used to treat prostitutes as friendly strangers. Nowadays it's a case of "fuck the Russians", so much so that all Russian women immigrants are seen as a sort of non-human sexual product. Eeek!

[trishpiglet.livejournal.com]

Explanation of my answers:

Wouldn't sell sex because I can't 'make' myself have sex with people I don't fancy or have sex when I don't want it. Wouldn't use an agency to get sex because, in the absence of available and willing friends, I'd do myself. I've offered someone I'm already sleeping with £20 when I thought they weren't in the mood but I was, however, so I couldn't say I'd never buy it.

[yonmei.livejournal.com]

Having heard about how the escort agencies work from a prostitute's POV, if I were going to buy sex, I'd absolutely prefer to call an agency that gave the escort a percentage of the fee I was paying the agency, checked me and other clients out to make sure I was reasonably safe for the escort, and generally treated their escorts in a decent and generous fashion. It's the same kind of ethics as trying to avoid sweatshop clothes and dollar bananas.

[pavlos.livejournal.com]

Well, the way that you put it I'd go for Horny Bitches because you're giving us the information that it's the fair agency with a stupid name. If I didn't know... then I don't know. I've never used an agency and I'd be wary of the general unpleasantness of the whole thing. I understand how to choose computers over the phone, not people to have sex with.

I'd like also to note that Elegant Companions doesn't sound to me more respectful than Horny Bitches (they both sound bad). What is this "elegant" business? As an escort, am I supposed to fuck or drink tea? If we're going to fuck, why are we avoiding to talk about it? And are we implying that other women are "inelegant" or of lower quality? Elegant Companions just indicates to the customer that it's more upmarket, and that may be a good thing for the workers but it may also mean that the punters are fat misogynistic suits.

[elves-uk.livejournal.com]

intersting one, although I could not come up with an answer, the times we have looked at escort sites it was just looking at a particular type of person to help us enjoy something we had/have not yet enjoyed :) But one suggest sleaze the other not, now sleaze can be fun in the right context but all in all its a mood thing.